Have you ever felt the desperate need for answers to following questions?

  • What am I doing?
  • What is the purpose of my life?
  • Am I doing what I am intended to do in my life?
  • Why am I here?
  • Am I invisible?
  • What do I want?

Sounds soul-searching and spiritual, but this is what most of us feel, a kind of delusion which needs to be broken at some point or the other… Trying to find answers via this post.. Here are some situations which might lead to some serious CTRL+F within us..

Kate has been working in one of the top IT companies for last 6+ years. A freshman out of school, geared up, all ready to take up the big bang world of professionals. Initially everything was good, new things to learn every day, every month, every year for 5 years.  She has been (un??)lucky to have got to do something new every day for such a long time in a world where things become banal due to repetitiveness in work within an year. But the flip side to it was Kate never got an opportunity to master anything. Her ability to quickly adapt to new technologies which was a boon from organization perspective became a bane for individual growth. At one point in time, after 5 years, she gets bored of learning and learning and learning. She wants to settle down with one technology and master it which her current job profile does not provide her an opportunity with. She is stuck up in one place, does not have skills to match up to her experience and hence cannot venture out. As a result, she is getting more and more flustered and dejected with each passing day and tries to CTRL+F “What am I doing?”, “Why am I here?”

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Kate’s problem lies majorly with her being in one place for too long. To add to that, the frustration of not being able to move out due to the fact that she knows little about so many things is letting her down. One probable solution to this would be to stop learning!!! Yes, stop learning so many things. Knowing many things is good only when you know one or two things better than others. It would be an added advantage when you know not only know a particular subject A very well, but also know B, C and D. Usual method is to learn A splendidly and then focus on B, C or D. In Kate’s situation, she can try doing the opposite. Now that she knows something about A, B, C and D, she can think of which on these interests her the most, let us say B. she can start to work and learn more on B. She can also try a different company based on her knowledge of B since sometimes change of place of work brings a brighter change in life.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————- Amanda has a high profile job is one of the top firms. She is regarded as one of the highly successful individual in her profession. But she has one worry. Marriage!!! Yes, she is 30 and unmarried. She is also a strong (??) individual who does not like to show her emotions to others. She is not very keen on getting married, and thinks marriage might be a required affair in one’s life but is not mandatory. This is what she thinks most of the time, but whenever she sees her friends happily married, enjoying life with spouses and kids, gossiping about their in-laws there is a sting in her heart and she longs to have that experience. She feels she has lost the sense in life.  At these times, she CTRL+F “What do I want?”

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This is a trickier problem since this is not in an individual control. Some get married soon, some get married late and some probably never get married. There are situations and destiny which plays a role here. What Amanda should do is not to hide her emotions and her pains behind her “strong” character, and to vent out her pains in front of someone or something animate or inanimate. A good uninhibited wail over one’s sorrow will definitely make them feel better. Having said that, she should not lose hope or relent on her choices when it comes to finding a right life partner as it is the hope of finding light at the end of the tunnel is what keeps a man alive and determined to find the end of the tunnel.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————- Jules is the only child of her parents. She was a smart student in her school. She is a hard working employee. But, in all these she lacks one thing which she yearns for – Undivided attention, a sense of being given first preference over others. At home, even after being the only child, she does not get much of a preference. Her father is indifferent, nothing bothers him much, and her mother prefers her cousin over Jules and constantly compares how her cousin is better than Jules. In office, she is almost inconspicuous with her boss and her peers not even noticing her during meetings or after.  All this makes Jules CTRL+F for “Am I invisible?”

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Jules problem in life is that she is suffering from inferiority complex. She thinks she needs others feedback about her to determine whether she is good or not. She thinks if others think she is good, she is good; if they think she is useless, she is. She is an attention savvy and needs someone to notice her always. This is not bad and is not something which one cannot expect from others. But some of us are not so lucky enough to garner all the attention we need. At these times, we need to understand the fact that, we are not born to be popular and that popularity is not the determining factor for one’s success or failure. Others opinion never matter. One who cannot praise you when you do well does not hold a chance to blame you when you do something wrong. So what Jules should do is to forget who cares for her and who doesn’t and just live up to her expectations.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————- Phillipa is born and brought up in a middle class family, a family where education to the graduate level is must, followed by a prolific job in IT major which will get you good money. This has been a trend in her family, all her cousins, siblings are earning in 6 digits per month and all are placed in one or the other IT majors. Phillipa had no choice or rather never thought of any choice other than follow the family trend. As a result, she is now in an IT major earning close to a 6 digit figure. But now after completing 5 years in the IT Co, is she happy? Guess not, because more often than not, she keeps getting flustered and running off on vacation spanning for a week or two. She feels that probably she is getting frustrated because of working too long, so a vacation might be a good break. But she is now realizing the fact, that within a day or two of coming back from vacation, her foul mood is back as well. She is not sure of what in this whole world interests her. She feels even if she tries to do something new, she loses interest in a little while. She keeps wondering whether she has made any mistake following the family trend, not thinking of what she really wanted and keeps CTRL + F “What is the purpose of my life?” “Am I doing what I am intended to do in my life?”

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Phillipa’s biggest mistake is that she never thought what she wanted in life. This is probably because she has been brought up in a middle class family where more or less, the choices are definitive and limited. Every career option’s sole objective is to earn money with grace. If your option does not earn you 6 digit figures, then it is not much of a career option.  So she never thought, never used that brain of hers to decide what she wanted, but took whatever came in her life. Changing that, going back to square one might not be an option now, even though that is the best. She now has limited options to choose from, but she has to start thinking what is it she wants in life? Now that she has some money, can she take the risk of quitting the prolific job and do something which interests her? Whatever she decides, she needs to think first. Think, Think, Think…..

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————- So, above were some of the situations which we encounter at some point in life. This article was an attempt to find answers to some of the issues which drive us crazy at times. But as the saying goes, easier said than done. At least let us make a start and see where it takes us. Hope this helps….